College Essay Too Formal? Fix Exam English
Is your college essay too formal? Ten exam-English habits with plain rewrites, three before-and-after paragraphs, and how to draft in your first language.
College Essay Too Formal? Fix Exam English
If your college essay sounds like an exam answer, cut the formal phrases, not your ideas. Write short, first-person sentences about what you did and thought. Harvard says an essay "should reflect their own content, writing style, and English proficiency", so plain English that is yours beats polished English that is not.
Our view: you do not need native-speaker polish. You need your own sentences. The phrases that schools reward in exam compositions and formal letters ("Furthermore", "It is pertinent to note", "In conclusion") are the fastest way to sound like nobody in particular. This page gives ten of those habits with plain versions, three paragraphs rewritten from three English registers, and a short method for drafting in your first language. When you have a draft, the Common App narrative craft rubric reads it for free.
Every Common App and university page quoted below was checked on October 30, 2026.
Why exam English sounds wrong in a personal essay
Exam writing trains you to write to an assigned audience in a fixed format. In West Africa, for example, the WAEC English Language Paper 2 composition section has set tasks; the Chief Examiner's general comments on the 2018 WASSCE (PC) sitting list them as "informal letter, article for publication, official letter, debate and storytelling" (WAEC e-Learning). Those formats have conventions: a salutation, an address to the audience, a formal close. They are correct for that genre.
If the whole draft reads like a motivation letter, the problem is genre, not phrasing: see the genre switch for international applicants.
The Common App essay is a different genre. Its instructions say the essay "helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice" (Common App 2026 first-year application, PDF). Exam register is a shared voice. Everyone trained in it sounds alike, which is exactly what "distinguish yourself" rules out.
The countercase: not every box in the application wants a story voice. The Additional Information box, a "why this major" supplement or a school-specific short answer can be plainer and more factual. Formal is not wrong there. And plain does not mean slang: "lowkey", "vibes" and text-message spelling fail for the opposite reason.
Ten exam-English habits and their plain versions
None of these is bad English. Each is right in an exam or a formal letter and wrong in a personal essay.
| Habit | Exam version | Plain version |
|---|---|---|
| 1. The general-truth opener | "Since time immemorial, man has sought knowledge." | Start in a scene: "At 6 a.m. I was already in the lab." |
| 2. The modern-world filler | "In today's fast-paced world, technology is everywhere." | Delete it. Start with the next sentence |
| 3. Signpost connectors | "Furthermore,", "Moreover,", "In addition," | "And", "Also", or nothing. Most sentences need no connector |
| 4. The throat-clearing phrase | "It is pertinent to note that I joined the club." | "I joined the club." |
| 5. The passive that hides you | "The project was completed in two weeks." | "I finished the project in two weeks." |
| 6. Nouns instead of verbs | "My participation in the organisation of the event" | "I organised the event" |
| 7. The proverb opener | "As the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles..." | If a person really said it, put it in their mouth, inside a scene |
| 8. Inflated words | "utilise", "commence", "endeavour", "a plethora of" | "use", "start", "try", "many" |
| 9. The stated moral | "This experience taught me the importance of hard work." | Show what you now do differently, in a second moment |
| 10. The summary close | "In conclusion, this experience has shaped me into who I am today." | End on an action or an image. Never restate the essay |
Office-letter phrases ("I humbly request", "kindly", "do the needful") are a related habit. Our guide to Hindi words and Indian English in a college essay covers them, with dictionary checks on phrases a US reader may misread.
Three before-and-after rewrites
Three constructed examples, written by us, not real applicant statements. Each shows a different English register: West African exam English, South Asian A-level essay English and English translated from Portuguese.
Constructed example: exam English from Lagos
Constructed example, written by us, not a real applicant statement. Context (invented): Tobi, a student in Lagos, writing about losing a debate final.
Before (63 words):
It is pertinent to note that debating has always been a very important aspect of my life. Furthermore, I was privileged to represent my school at the state debate competition, where we were defeated in the final. In conclusion, this experience taught me that failure is a stepping stone to success, and I have since endeavoured to utilise every opportunity to improve myself.
After (67 words):
We lost the state final by one point, and the point was mine. I had argued that fuel subsidies help the poor, and the other team's second speaker asked me one question: "Which poor?" I did not have an answer. On the bus home I wrote "Which poor?" on the inside of my wrist. I still check every argument against it before I say it out loud.
What changed: the throat-clearing phrase, "Furthermore", "In conclusion" and three inflated words (privileged, endeavoured, utilise) are gone. "Failure is a stepping stone to success" became an action the reader can see: the question written on his wrist. The after version is four words longer and carries far more.
Constructed example: A-level essay English from Karachi
Constructed example, written by us, not a real applicant statement. Context (invented): Hira, an A-level student in Karachi, writing about a chemistry practical.
Before (57 words):
Chemistry has been a subject of immense interest to me. During my A-level practical examinations, an unexpected result was obtained in the titration experiment. Upon careful analysis, it was determined that the burette had not been properly rinsed. This incident highlighted the significance of precision and attention to detail, qualities which are essential for any aspiring scientist.
After (61 words):
My titration was wrong by two millilitres, and I was sure the acid was wrong. It was not. I had rinsed the burette with tap water and not with the acid, a step I had skipped in every practice session because nothing had ever gone wrong. My teacher did not say anything. She just handed me a fresh beaker and waited.
What changed: three passives ("was obtained", "it was determined", "had not been properly rinsed") became "I" sentences, so the reader knows who made the mistake. "Precision and attention to detail" was a claim; the skipped rinse is the evidence. The teacher's silence does the reflecting that "This incident highlighted the significance of" was trying to do.
Constructed example: translated Portuguese from São Paulo
Constructed example, written by us, not a real applicant statement. Context (invented): Luana, in São Paulo, writing about working at her uncle's bakery.
Before (60 words):
Working in my uncle's bakery was a very rich experience for me. I learned a lot of things about responsibility and about the importance of the family. Every day I had contact with many different people, and this made me grow a lot as a person. It is an experience that I will carry with me for all my life.
After (63 words):
At my uncle's padaria, I work the till on Saturdays from six until noon. By seven, I know who will order a pingado, coffee with a splash of milk, and who will pay in coins they have counted at home. Last month a man paid for his bread in coins and left one behind on purpose, for whoever came in next without enough.
What changed: "a very rich experience", "I learned a lot of things" and "grow a lot as a person" are phrases that translate cleanly and say nothing in English. The after version replaces them with a till, a time and one customer. One Portuguese word stays, glossed once inside the sentence ("a pingado, coffee with a splash of milk"). Common App essay examples for international students shows that gloss pattern in six full examples.
Drafting in your first language, then translating
Our recommendation: think, remember and outline in your first language if that is where your memories live. Write the English sentences yourself. Do not paste a first-language draft into a translation tool and edit the output.
The reason is the rule you sign, not style alone. Common App's fraud policy lists "Submitting plagiarized essays or other written or oral material, or intentionally misrepresenting as one's own original work: (1) another person's thoughts, language, ideas, expressions, or experiences or (2) the substantive content or output of an artificial intelligence platform, technology, or algorithm" (Common App fraud policy, last updated August 2023). Some colleges publish their own rules on translation tools. Write your college essay in Chinese, then translate? quotes Caltech's and Cornell's, and gives a step-by-step bilingual method that works for any first language.
Two habits keep you safe and keep your voice:
- Keep words that do not translate. Gloss each once, inside the sentence, as the São Paulo example does with "pingado".
- Save dated versions. Harvard says that if the committee has questions about "the authenticity of materials presented, they may be in touch directly with you to gather more information" (Harvard FAQ). Your notes and drafts show how the essay got written.
Your essay and your English record should sound like one person
Colleges see your English in more places than the essay:
- Tests or English-medium years. Yale says "Non-native English-speakers who have not taken at least two years of secondary education where English is the medium of instruction are required to submit results" from an English proficiency test (Yale, International Applicants).
- Section-level scores. Penn says competitive TOEFL applicants "tend to have a composite score of 5 or above with demonstrated consistency across the four sections of the exam" (Penn, International Applicants).
- School writing. Princeton's graded written paper "and teacher comments should not be translated from another language into English, they must be written in English" (Princeton).
None of these pages says the college compares your essay with them. Our view: you do not need to. An essay in a register that nothing else in your file matches reads as if someone else polished it, whether or not anyone did. The plain version above is safer and better. Does your essay need to match your English test? goes through each piece of evidence, and which ESL grammar mistakes matter covers what to fix and what to leave.
If an AI detector flags your plain English
Plain English is not a sign of AI, and formal English is not a sign of a human. If you are worried about how detectors read non-native writing, read AI detection and international students and keep your dated drafts. GradPilot's college essay AI checker is a separate tool for that question.
A five-minute register check
- Search your draft for: Furthermore, Moreover, In addition, pertinent, utilise, commence, endeavour, plethora, In conclusion. Delete or replace each one.
- Find every passive ("was done", "was completed", "it was decided"). If you did it, make "I" the subject.
- Find every abstract noun ending in -tion or -ment. Can you turn it back into a verb?
- Read the first paragraph aloud as if you were telling a friend. Rewrite any sentence you would never say.
- Read the last paragraph. If it starts with "In conclusion", "Thus" or "Therefore", or states a lesson, replace it with something you now do.
- Check spelling consistency. Pick British or American spelling and keep it; see British or American spelling in a Common App essay.
Questions about formal English in college essays
Is it bad if my college essay is too formal?
It is not a rule violation, and no college page quoted here penalises formality by name. But the Common App asks for "your own voice", and exam register is a shared voice. Rewrite it for the reader you have.
Should a college essay be formal or informal?
Neither exam English nor slang. Write the way you would explain the story to a teacher you like: complete sentences, first person, no filler.
Can I write my essay in my native language and translate it?
You can think and outline in your first language. Write the English sentences yourself, and read Common App's fraud policy before using any translation tool on full sentences. The method is in write your college essay in Chinese, then translate?.
Will small grammar mistakes hurt more than formal phrases?
Our view: a small slip that does not change meaning costs less than a borrowed register, because the slip still sounds like you. Fix anything that changes meaning. ESL college essay grammar mistakes sorts them. If you studied in English in West or East Africa, check the English test waiver rules for Nigeria, Ghana and Kenya before you book a test.
Get a free review of your Common App essay
Get a free Quick Review of your Common App essay against GradPilot's Common App narrative craft rubric. It reads whether the essay stays inside one moment, uses details that change the story and lets the meaning grow before it is named, which is what a formal summary skips. If your essay answers prompt 1, use the background, identity, interest or talent rubric. More options are on the Common App essay review page, and more guides are in college admissions essays.
Sources
Retrieved October 30, 2026, except where noted.
- Harvard College, What help can students receive in writing their essays? (no cycle stated): own content, writing style and English proficiency; authenticity follow-up.
- Common App, 2026 first-year application (PDF): "in your own voice".
- Common App, Fraud policy (last updated August 2023): plagiarism and misrepresentation clause.
- West African Examinations Council, English Paper 2, WASSCE (PC) 2018: general comments (2018 sitting): composition task types.
- Yale, International Applicants (no cycle stated): English proficiency testing rule.
- University of Pennsylvania, International Applicants (no cycle stated): TOEFL band score and section consistency.
- Princeton University, International Students (no cycle stated): graded written paper must be written in English.
Get feedback on your college essay
Paste your draft. The free Quick Review shows what to fix against a Common App rubric before you submit.